The daughter is almost 20 years old ,she was born overseas .The mother is western who loves to live in Egypt,the father is Egyptian who will gladly change his plans to go back to Egypt for the benefit of his daughter ,both parents agreeing that it is a matter of urgency and agreeing that Egypt is a better place for the future of their daughter , the daughter can not see that ,sort of admiring the West .Which way would you use with your daughter in this age ?
Egypt - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The daughter is almost 20 years old she is old enough to make her own decision about where she would prefer to live. But personally i prefer east to west..I was born in europe and grew up in canada but still i miss the east. I want to move to egypt next year isa But i know a lot of people who would never want to leave the west. I think the daughter is old enough to voice her opinion and i would not be able to force my daughter to move to another country after being in one for her entire life. I am hoping to move out of my own will and desire and I am the same age as this daughter, so i'm sure that this daughter also has her own view about this. It's not right to force anyone to do anything, the daughter is not a child, her parents should respect that.
2 :
Legally she is an adult so there is not much you could do. I just cant imagine why the parents would think Egypt would be a better place for her if she wasn't going to be happy there and why such a case of urgency. There is also the fact she has grown up in the West where she can follow her chosen career and in Egypt she may have problems even obtaining work...or work that gives her job satisfaction. I think this is a situation where the mother should look back to the time when she obviously did what she wanted and married an Egyptian and leave her adult daughter to choose her own path. There is no way I would try and coheres or demand anything of my adult daughter...if I had one, this young woman is an adult legally and that is that..
3 :
convincing is the best policy, i don't blame the girl, the girl feels that she will be lonely going there in Egypt, let her know some Egyptian girls in her age, who then become her friends and that will encourage her to go back in Egypt. Or you can tell her to come and settle few months and see if you will like it or no.
4 :
same problem here. my brother who is 17, has been in the states since he was 5 and refusing to go to live in Egypt with my parents who recently moved there. my parents used both, force and convincing but nothing worked. he came as if for a visit and when he knew he has to stay he refused and left the family's home, came back 2nd day, which made my parents agree on letting him go back to the states to live with my older brother who is 27 and is very independant, has his own house, work, and life and won't think of staying in Egypt for good either. so now my mom had to go back to california to be with my younger brother cuz she didnt wanna leave him alone and he still refuses to live in Egypt. usually, it is easier to control and convince girls than guys, so they might have some luck with their daughter. for me, I went back to Egypt on my own, but yrs before, I was totally against living in Egypt for good as I got more adapted to the lifestyle in USA, but when I got married to an Egyptian man living in Egypt, I thought abt trying to stay there and it seems alright now. it was hard in the begining as u will feel ur coming from a totally different world and life style to a tottally new one. I hate to say it will be hard for them, but this is the truth. good luck to them.
5 :
Well first of all, I am only 21, so I dont have this experience to be able to take such a decision. Anyways, if I was in this situation, I think that I would at least bring her here for one year for her to try it at least. Anyways, it all depends, has she already started university or college? coz if yes, I think it's better to leave her until she graduates. If no, and she has no job, then she sould try finding one in Egypt, or at least come an study here. I dont know, it all depends on the situtation.
6 :
Egypt has become a radicalist country full of extremists .. just think about that before force-sending your daughter there .. i think she's an adult and is capable of making her own decisions and choosing her own way of life ..
7 :
CONVINCE her .. sell her the idea , use all the marketing tools you have to make her WANT to come and live here, actually there are many benefits fro someone who received her education from Europe or America, her chances to find a fine job in a world class organization is very high, being a half foriegner will make her always special (you know the fact that we are just opssessed about anything that is not Egyptian) , so while she can live outside as a very average person , she can come here and become very special.. Also socially she will be surrounded by her family , she can meet a lot of friends of those who share the same background . The only struggle she might face is transportation and low values of "some" people here , but she can also deal with that since both are becoming international problems.. Good luck!
8 :
You should have thought about that 20 years ago. You shouldn't force her into anything and I think she's a bit old for you to be using "raising techniques" on her. What you have been doing for the past 20 years is raising her to become who she is now: a grown woman who is capable of making her own decisions. the "shaping process" of her life is over and a lot of it is your responsibility, whether or not you like it and whether or not you choose to accept it. and about the "sort of admiring the west" remark, what do you expect?? She has to feel attached to the place where she was raised, not a place that her parents idolize. What you need to do is talk to her. Explain to her why you and her mother think Egypt is a better place for her (without painting a utopian picture of it). Maybe arrange for a trial month, where she can really see what Egypt is like without anyone's opinion being imposed on her and she can start researching her career (or university) options, who knows what might come up? ... if she likes it so be it if not then give her more time, and at the end it all comes down to what *she* wants. Edit- just saw G.'s answer -- I agree with most of what he said.
9 :
using force isnt a good idea . you must convince her , and show her evidence of why Egypt is a better place for her . i have a friend whose daughter was in the US from the age of 9 to 17 with the family . they all came back to Cairo where the girl completed her education in the AUC . she wanted to go back to the US alone . i spoke to her on the phone and convinced her of staying here . the key word was , she would be like a '' mosquito '' there , alone and unprotected . she is now happily married and with children in Cairo. use good methods of convincing your daughter . dont tell her that she would spend a year in Cairo then decide . from the beginning she would be decided on not staying any longer . talk abt yourself and the rest of the family , not her , so that she wouldnt decide BEFORE the experiment . good luck.
